Thank God, i survived another day for being gay.?

well, i don't really have a question, i just want to vent and this is the place i only could do it. Okay, so I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, it could be worse or better or simply up and down. People, I am gay but not really happy since I'm in the closet and will be here forever. I am afraid of coming out though I know it's the only thing that I have to do, but for the sake of the ones i loved dearly, i will do it...wow i'm so stupid, yes i am. i have so many questions. my life is not a life anymore. but why? why me? why?......yes, i am lonely.